Back to the Grind

Coming off two weeks of PTO (paid time off), I have mixed feelings about coming back to the routine of residency. Being both literal and metaphorical, part of me is itching to get back to those patient voicemails on my work phone while another part of me not-so-secretly wants to run away to re-start my vacation all over again.

As I wrestle with the realities of burnout, finding the motivation to put one foot in front of the other is becoming increasingly challenging.

Red tape from the limitations from insurance companies, facing the uphill battle of attempting to solve barriers of equity in medicine, and the sometimes not-so-subtle social nuances of being a minority physician are enough for me to press snooze on my alarm clock…indefinitely.

I hear the voices of patients stating in one form or another “it is good to have a doctor who looks like me”, and while it is humbling to know, I am not sure if it is enough to justify the challenges of being a resident physician.

Summoning the strength to offer compassion to patients I see during clinic visit is about all I have to give in a day- which does not leave much for friends and loved ones I hold dear to my heart.

While it is helpful to have people around who are supportive, it is also important for me to be candid. I need to make to changes in how I take care of myself during this journey.

Hopefully, small, consistent efforts towards improving and maintaining my overall well-being will make a difference and help me re-adjust to my work routine a little easier.

What are your thoughts?